Monday, January 31, 2005

A Silver Post 1.30.05

Today I use capital letters; this post is a note-taking distraction.

I am eating the greatest apple.

I should be offended by this apple. Red, delicious, and contraband in the bowels of the newniversity’s library. I sneak it out and take a few bites; the Indian girls reading their business texts with their headphones on don’t seem to mind the deafening crunch of apple, or my furtive glances to make sure no library officers (or whoever holds the peace in this joint) step to me.

My mother bought it. From CostCo. I don’t know what possessed her, really. It came in a frickin' bag. Plus they are mutant-sized apples. She and I are both offended by the concept of fruit and vegetables from a warehouse; how do they survive? How do you eat that much in bulk? We are both impressed with the amount of packaged food goodness that can be bought at once; this living at home thing means quantity is often preferable to quality. For me, it’s because I’m in school and not cooking.

This apple is great for undoing a bit of my mood. I’ve been on low-level murder for a hot minute now. I told ‘Echo that I could chew nails and spit fragments out in people’s faces for a laugh. I am hella angry, and frustrated, and tired, and unmotivated, and just not feeling “it.” Which includes looking for a job, going out, getting up, chasing skirt, writing, actually doing my homework, dressing in a coordinated manner, talking—all the basics that should be part of my life.

It’s unexciting to talk about, and high on the revelatory scale; it’s that time of the year, I’m stir crazy like you probably are. And I want my project to be over, and I want to magically have my life set for the next year or however long I have my job. All the wanting in the world doesn’t make it so, and I can’t find it in me to get up off of my sweet l’il black ass. Some of my people would probably have fleeting sympathy, but this is me, and how I work out my problems, and it’s like that.

Oh Lord. I sound like a blogger. Apologies.

But I do love this apple. It’s holding my stomach back from eating itself; and keeping me from getting even more generally annoyed. The apple is like the gentle giant in a band of homies who quietly says it ain’t worth it, it ain’t worth it. Hold me back, nukka, hold me back. You know I got my two strikes against me. Don't want to get lock'd up like Akon.

Just playin’. But I added a chapter to my novel. And I am listening to KEXP through the wireless connection.
bartender, put a cosmo in that girl hand 1.30.05

the above line is from the nas/ doug e fresh/ ludacris song, virgo

saturday night silver had a "i'm not getting fired" party at the ace bar. which i hope he remembers better than friday night. it was good times, everyone brought friends. i brought a few people i haven't seen in a while, and as paris hilton might say, "that's hot." all the people i need to catch up with, including victor and flor and soldati and g-ball, lori and holiday and jill c, grace and zo-co, silver's work friend jiby, starla/ haylz and their girls and joel, clavel was there with some friends but cut out early, gurney and golnar came late, kirby and anne also appeared.

now you know. i don't have pics, gully, but silver took some.


sunday i woke up. went to the current university (let's call it the newniversity) and took a swim, conveniently in time to see the basketball game between this institution and my undergrad school (let's call it the wuniversity, or the WU).

the men's team from the WU had beaten on the host men's team. i walked into the bleachers just before the women started, still sweating from swimming, a little haggard on my 4 hours of sleep. sat down, and a woman with a green and white name tag denoting her as alumni of the WU turns to me and said "i really enjoyed watching you play."

to which i replied, "uhm... i don't play basketball."

the game was pretty good; the WU women are tough as they've always been. yes, i have watched other games; when i was a senior, one of my orientation "campers" was the starting center on the WU team that won the Division III national championship; i watched a couple of games at her request.

plus there's something sexy about a woman taking a charge. if you catch my meaning.

it's good selfless basketball! i don't know what you were thinking, dirtball.

read a nytimes article on the newniversity women's win.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

whiskey ward. 1.29.05

oh, whiskey.

last night i walked out of my group project meeting a little angry, with an urge to hit someone in the knees. i was also hungry. and it was late in the evening, the sidewalks still flanked with snow, cold and breezy on the manhattan streets. i rode north with lana-p and decided instead of going home, i would head to silver's for a drink, or something.

i didn't have any better ideas and i wasn't trying to roll to brooklyn to descha's friend's dj-thing-- though it was cancelled.

so there are me, silver, 6 dumplings, and the bottle of jim beam silver had purchased.

you know this doesn't end sober. and then dijah and i are emailing, she calls, she comes down, she takes in some whiskey and she's right there at our level of bs and semi-philosophy. silver doesn't remember much of the night. blaming it on a reaction with the medicine. dude, we drank 2/3 a bottle of beam. or maybe only half, i don't know; it was a lot.

and dijah determined that the reason i go out on dates and nothing comes of them is that ladyfolk think i am gay, or at least, are not sure; it's the problem of being a well-spoken, smiling black man when women expect a thuuuuug, perhaps. i take that analysis with a grain of salt, but it's nothing i haven't heard before.

i feel much better now that i am at raycroft's, watching the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (bbc version) and drinking beers. and tonight, the silver-aires will take up a bar and drink some more, because that's the only way we can all get together!

Friday, January 28, 2005

four for friday. 1.28.05

last night i dreamed that every time i figured out what bill belichick was doing, he locked me in a small wooden old new england room.

on last night's oc-- rebecca bloom, sandy cohen's miss perfect? lamest plotline ever. i hope ryan decks caleb. he hasn't punched anyone this season and an old man is as good as anyone. seth's pictures of summer are awesome. very batman beyond.

my cousin is back from iraq. rock.

anyone want to check out a division III basketball game with me on sunday? our alma mater against my new university? women's and men's starting at midday?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

chunks of dunks. 1.26.05

gully: emma bunton's on regis and kelly. you're the one who owns the album!

it's almost that time of the year-- the mets have lost out on carlos delgado but traded for the man with the name that uniform-makers see in their nightmares. if you're interested in the trade you can read one of the best sports bloggers out there at sabermets, who loves ian bladergroen, the guy the mets gave up.

the superbowl is over except for the commercials and the beating and the adam vinatieri field goal with 1:34 left in the game that will increase the patriots' lead to 7 or 8. so i can focus on college ball...

my sibling and i now have an extra college sports package on digital cable. this means that i can watch even more obscure basketball teams-- the university of denver vs. arkansas-little rock, cal state northridge vs. cal poly- san luis obispo, et cetera. so expect a college basketball preview. soon.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

you damned broads are keeping us from the truth! 1.25.05

here is a response to harvard professor larry summers' assertion that innate sex differences play into the lack of women at the top of the science heap. from the national review article by Judith Kleinfeld:

This fight boils down to a paltry point — more males than females are apt to have the off-the-map talent that lands them professorships in fields like physics, especially at elite universities. Yes, we should be sensitive to subtle forms of gender discrimination and social stereotyping. But no one could be doing more to reinforce damaging social stereotypes about women than Nancy Hopkins, the MIT professor of biology who started this flap. She didn't offer argument or evidence. She flounced off, fearful of swooning. This is the behavior of a southern belle of another century, now designed for the quite contemporary political purpose of punishing speech she classified as politically dangerous. We're entitled to a higher level of civility in academic discourse than Hopkins displayed. And we're entitled to truth.

damned womenfolk! walking out in protest like a woman! judith is so right. just a little point, not one that educators will use as evidence to dissuade struggling young women to try something easier like home ec or craft-making. and hopkins, she can't hear the truth-- that she might be better suited for baby-making, perhaps, or education. lord knows theories get debunked, and these innate differences may be minute, and-- "fearful of swooning?"

Monday, January 24, 2005

blue monday 1.24.05

if you did not hear, based on this formula:


1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA. Where:

W: Weather
D: Debt
d: Money due in January pay
T: Time since Christmas
Q: Time since failed quit attempt
M: General motivational levels
NA: The need to take action

today is the most depressing day of the year. i know that personally, i am "lo-mo" as one person put it. i think i will watch a sweet romance. okay, porn. plus do some homework. it's good to see social science used to help define our shared world.


make yourself happy-- read the comments on any of this libertarian girl's post. thanks to greg for highlighting her-- there is some, uh, curious work here.

* there is the uncaring and hard-hearted: "Lots of seniors think they are entitled to stuff because they are old. This poses great dangers to our democratic society... With their increasing numbers and their attitude that they are entitled to stuff, an easy prediction is that in the future seniors will vote for higher taxes to pay for their social security benefits."

* there is the ridiculous: the british abused prisoners too! shouldn't they be more enlightened?

* there is the edge of bigotry: and i say this because she contends that "Liberals hate the SAT because it demonstrates quantitatively that people differ in intelligence, and they also hate it because the average black score is significantly lower than the average white score" without much backup or even an oblique mention of caveats (like what is race? like what about factors such as educational input?). as a side note, my average black score was probably higher than hers.

* and there is a running current on how liberals hate america. the comments on this one are enlightening.

all of this can be traced to her love of ayn rand. liberals hate the strong? no help for the old? what kind of heartless asshole says these things? i don't hate america. i hate assholes, i hate users, i hate cronyism, and i hate people who use their power to hoard wealth and not improve conditions around them. in that, i suppose i am not a good capitalist. i think equal footing will enable the nation to fully realize its intellectual potential. i think a meritocracy that is based on merit, not on previous wealth, is a good thing. again-- bad capitalist, it's true, because i can still make money and live decently while paying those pesky taxes and working to help those who are less able to help themselves.

i hate people who don't allow for differences in a "i may not agree with it but you're not actually affecting me and mine" way. i hate people who have a solid idea about what another group thinks when they don't know people in that group, nor do they try to understand their line of thinking. i hate people who define a whole group, 56 million americans, let's say, as in lockstep with overthrow america elements.

and ayn rand? that heartless wench is made for your dress-in-black high school days, your "if you're weak you must deserve it" days. read tobias wolff's old school for a good send up of ayn rand. maybe when libertarian girl loses her job or gets into a car accident or otherwise doesn't get what she hopes to achieve, she will reconsider her love of the extreme black or white world of ayn rand.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

green is good, steel plays bad. 1.23.05

andy reid raised the roof in the waning moments of last night's eagles victory! to jacksonville they go! as eben puts it, THE WAR BETWEEN THE CONFERENCES and yes, that is a civil war reference.

i love the drama before the winning coach is dunked in gatorade on a freeze your semen/ cryogenic storage cold kind of day day. and did freddie mitchell have a heavyweight title belt? one last thing-- i wanna holler like brian dawkins.


holy wow. that kid who sang the national anthem at the steelers game is serious. and she's like, 11?

at 6.49 left in the first quarter, brady throws 60 yards to branch to make the score 10-0. that is when i knew the patriots had their third superbowl in 4 years locked up.

so i can tell you this about the rest of the game: there is a lot of good tv on sundays. like unscripted.

Friday, January 21, 2005

on the ball 1.21.05

some pictures from new years. click and enjoy. there are more that i haven't developed yet:

niffer and rini on the upper west.
niffer + rini

jaime and i.
the lovely jaime

the jersey girls in brooklyn.
jaime + rachel + elana

hoy tried to kill me with liquid fire.
hoy makes stiff drinks

haylz grabs junk.
haylz grabs the junk

silver and the kids from chi and dc.
guests + silver

elana welcomes 2005.
elana wears the year
lighthearted 1.21.05

last night's oc was awesome, if only for emanuelle chiriqui, the hottest woman in acting. i watched the lance bass (of n*sync) and joey fat-one in on the line just to watch her. i watched that movie three times. and now, she's on the oc? unfortunately she likely won't be in any "action"...

unlike marissa and girl-alex. what a flagrant, ham-fisted way to say "maybe marissa like women... at least just a little bit." the look was completely blatant, leering, and i loved every minute of it.

why is girl-alex hanging out with high schoolers? shouldn't she be hanging out with dirty silver lake rock and roll kids? why is there a rock club in newport, again?

but. i really dig on the thrills. more accurately i dig on their first album, "so much for the city." this new album is kin to the crap ratt came out with after "out of the cellar" (which had their big hit, round and round. vincent price video? yeah, you remember). after that, the band made awful songs about fashion models they were trying to screw, how hard it is to be a big rock star, and vague hints at hedonism. dear thrills, don't go down that road.

p.s. as an aside, i have class until 9.45 wednesday nights and don't get home in time to see law and order... how was the new ada?

p.p.s. since snowstorm 2005 is coming to the nyc area tomorrow (gully, sugar tits, if it's bad i ain't coming out) i may be inside and write out a couple of bits overheard on public transportation. word.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I saw this idea on a couple of other blogs, notably mousewords : de-lurker day. outing one’s e-stalkers. So if you are checking out this blog, please take a moment to say “hi” so I have an idea who’s checking this joint out. Sign in or say hey and tag your name at the end. yes, all ten of you.
It’s time… 1.18.05

on saturday the jets signed a non-aggression pact against the steelers defense. painful.

after watching the debacle i found myself at a party with raycroft (who i had spent the day drinking with) and then was invited to see sixo and arroz and pixel and tanner and silver downtown. it took me an hour and a half to get from sunnyside to the lower east side and while i thought i should never have gone, it was great to see surprise guest jess d. jess was my partner for a few bits of "acting" i did; the freshman orientation play (where i played the drunk who wakes up in her bed); and a bit of misdirection where she's the white girl i want to ask out for the old cultural diversity players.

it's time for for scholastic aptitude- one last semester. i’ll get back to posting later.

Friday, January 14, 2005

feelin' hella good. 1.14.05

stolen from schnapp.

in college, i walked up to mike dougherty and his then-girl amy-- the little blonde in art school, used to get drunk and then emotional and then bawl her eyes out all the time-- and went into a rant, as i often did. these rants were not political at all. mostly they were acting pieces where i would talk about how much i loved all the people around me. i thought they sounded tedious but people would love it when i went off. we were in st louis so it could have been boredom.

this time around, i got the kids talking about how i was walking around and spreading cheer throughout the party. so i declared myself cheer bear, to which they replied, "isn't there already a cheer bear?" so i told them i wanted a vodka bottle tattooed on my chest and some plush fur and they could call me party bear.

according to the quiz, i was wrong:

Raver Bear
Raver Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

p.s. thanks to nathan and j-fies for the late night drunk dial.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

The O.C. 1.13.05

kashmir, indeed.

i do believe our favorite show is running out of ideas, out of plots. and it's still enjoyable. i watched at home and i have to say:

lindsay. wow. great shirt. i appreciate it. glad you didn't change out of it before you came to study and of course were subsequently caught mostly out of said shit on top of shirtless ryan. word.

hetha: you spoke of a crush on sandy cohen and watching him sing to his lady at the bait shop (....) with a backing band of mediocrity, i think i have developed a crush too. a man crush. as in, don't wanna go out on a man-date with him. mandate is the word of the year. and sandy is much better than modest mouse.

but some logistical questions: when did sandy practice his vocal stylings? is there a newport listserv for cohen events? how come everyone ends up there and no one is excluded? like lindsay-- how did she find out about the anniversary party?

why is girl-alex so into seth?
Law and Order: the New Class 1.13.05

here is an interview with ms. elisabeth röhm, who is moving on to such stunning and career-making fare as "miss congeniality 2." i can't believe she doesn't know that angie harmon has been in a few movies. like agent cody banks. shut up, yo, it's a fun movie.

an aside: co-star hilary duff was subject to one of the more unnecessary celebrity jabs. one of pardon the interruption's (PTI for short) guests hosts answered a question by regular host tony kornheiser. so you know, PTI is a sports topic show.

i watched when guest host dan lebatard went on a little rant about how he saw all these people on the red carpet and he thought hilary duff was looking a little thick; he went on to say she was going to have a "fat future." now, some people in their teens have an obvious expansion that they will grow into. but that's flagrant to say on television about someone you don't know in a field you don't cover on a show about sports. and this guy was no prize, he was the middle aged fat of jim belushi and other male family sitcom stars. but that was flat rude. and sounds like something i would say. quietly. and i appreciate thick, because mischa barton looks like she could be blown away by the cali breeze. fifth from the top on this forum.

and a bio on the new ADA, Alexandra Borgia, played by Annie Parisse.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

wed. 1.12.05

law and order comes to queens! word. and elizabeth rohm i won't miss you... the moral, pompous rationalizing to people... i would love to see her serena character at home, eating ice cream, wondering why boys don't call. "this was a war for your soul?" as an actor, i would have killed that line right off. at least this is her final episode.

and when the holy hell did she come out of the closet? a lesbian? what? what? and she got fired? cold.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Dealer's Up. 1.11.05

i didn't play the hand i was dealt i changed my cards - Kanye West

Been looking at the exorbitant prices of books and editing my resume with Neverecho's esteemed help. so it's quiet, quiet.

except for the guy who got shot down the block from where my mother works.

Monday, January 10, 2005

door prizes. 1.10.05

wherein our hero slides, skips, and eats his way through a saturday

i'd like to tell you about the great progress in my novel, or how i managed to finish the work for my internship before the morning, and sent it before anyone got in. but if i said all that i would be lying.

i spent sunday thinking about reading and watching football. even though my two favorite teams played on saturday and sunday evening's game featured two of the worst defenses in the league. what the game lacked in stopping power it made up for in the minnesota victory and in the pretend pull-down-pants-and-moon moment from randy moss. awesome.

sunday was spent a touch hung over; the elvis wine, the other wine, and the vodka didn't lay me out but combined with getting home after 5 am and waking up around 10 am, i was in no great shape for nothing.

you're all curious now. elvis wine, got home late. you want lewd and lascivious stories. well, lean back, you pervs. there's none of those on this web log.

but eben/ myself/ nikki g/ liezl/ ahm/ katie g (no relation to nikki) celebrated deb's birthday and elvis' birthday in her and her boy lawrence's home. we brought appetizers, from something involving rosemary and potatoes in a flat bread/ pie form to meat in pastry to be eaten with ketchup to venison jerky. mmm, jerky. i made badass oatmeal raisin cookies with rummed-up raisins. but the ginger covered up the taste. we also played yahtzee (play it yourself). it was my first time-- easy to learn and an excuse to toss oversized dice at eben.

i left to answer allegations that i was a punkass (i skipped out on dancing over new year's, hence-- punkass). on the soho streets i checked my phone and my favorite team was putting the whuppin' on the san diego football club. that prompted a call to guy morgan who was at the game, peeing in his seat while his team gagged on their season's success. his lamentations and hope against hope caused me belly laughs.

down in brooklyn i found myself at southpaw. at one point in the night, so did cappy/ ali-pack/ sarah carolan (marla - we will all hang out one day)/ arroz/ sixo/ a couple of other kids, and my new friend phuong. the vodka was free for a little bit, the dancing was old school and shifted to the dancehall favorites. we tore that place up, yo. making friends wherever we go. the place was a great dork fest, square rims and curly hair all up in that mother. and now ali-pack and cappy can't call me no kind of punk ass. phuong and i closed out the joint, i went home. because that's what good boys do.

after spending much of the day hating how microsoft word and my laptop do not agree with each other, i think i will play with the voices. i'll have them read my story to me all robotic-like. mac users- do any of y'all know how i can get new voices? i want george clinton's voice. or billy dee williams' voice.
pundit paid to promote no child left behind. 1.10.05

holy undermine the power of the media, batman!!

now this is interesting. the bush administration, using propaganda and a fortunately colored believer to further their "punish the ones who can't read! punish them!" agenda? say it ain't so, geo!

so what if this guy's company was contracted for $240,000 to talk up No Child Left Behind? to create ads? and to interview the Education Secretary as a guest of armstrong williams? i've never even heard of this guy. as you can see from the article, he works for cnn. i'd rather read than be assaulted with moving tickers of laci peterson crap and watered down news from people who could probably do better.

but so what if armstrong williams is being paid to be an administration patsy? people don't believe they receive unadulterated, unbiased opinions from their television commentators, do they?

and without that warning to be wary-- this message has been approved by george "i don't read nor do i apologize for anything that's happened" bush-- parents might actually go along with some of the No Child ideas without questioning the program's punitive emphasis, or asking if there are ways to put a more progressive, or malleable, or less-test-based program out there; one that works to improve the actual school product and infrastructure. i'm not shocked, but it would be nice if we could ever have a national dialogue about education (and education equality, but i don't want to be a rabble-rousing negro) that wasn't ridiculously partisan.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

welcome to the blogosphere.

why you tell a man wa' fi' do? -beenie man, heaven on earth

to j-fies. and debbie. y'all are some followin' ass biters.
people, just let it go. 1.06.05

MTV's real world signs on for five... more... seasons...

i like [don't open this link at work] college-aged smut as much as the next person, but the ridiculously titled and unnervingly contrived real world has to go. people watch, of course, but the train wreck relationships are so obvious from the beginning of each season, and the characters are so cognizant of their roles, they might as well be paid actors. well... they're not good actors. but the guys are hot and the girls have cleavage.

hence, five more seasons. they're shooting in austin, texas this time around? greg, start going to hip austin bars! get on the show!

hey, pixel, sixo, kids-- who was that moppy haired kid from the wuniversity who appeared in the chicago season when he went to visit the "intensely creative" cara jessica parker? i think he lived in lee also, your year, maybe?

p.s. the devil is in the details. now i have a ryan cabrera song in my head, trying to figure out what it is he does. knowledge truly is dangerous.
humbled by the words of another. 1.06.05

i was going to blog about an editorial in the economist; but procrastination brought me back to the nyt wedding announcements commentary blog. when i read this post, (read it. it's badass, has rashomon references and tools we love to hate) i couldn't stop laughing. then i couldn't write. i was shamed by the weak characters in my novel, and i will procrastinate by having them tell ridiculous and pompous stories, by making them more satirical. i think i have a problem-- i like my protagonists too much to make fun of them...

and also, i have work still to do for my internship. sigh.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

conspiracy theory of the day 1.04.05

watching this year's national championship beating, and watching the halftime musical entertainment (as bob stoops puts his foot up his oklahoma team's collective ass) i have two comments:

1. kelly clarkson's live mic messed up. you couldn't hear her voice for half of an inconsequential verse. this is simply a ploy to make us think this joint is live and as such, ashlee simpson (dubbed as a superstar? by what authority?) is not lip synching. really, people, what would give us that idea?

2. god help me, ashlee's kind of attractive in a suburban high school punk who doesn't quite know who the ramones, the clash or the x-ray spex are kind of way. but may she should lip synch. what the hell are those sounds? just appreciate her attractively-cut outfit, pico.

p.s. i thought they booed her a little at the outset but they really gave her the raspberry at the end.
p.p.s. i am proof positive that the liberal football media can put anything in front of me and i would watch it. damn, i want some oranges. and a car. i'm switching to china beach.

Monday, January 03, 2005

this is the new year. 1.3.05

welcome to the ought-nickel.

while i normally do not comment on personal matters-- this is part of the reason i am boring to hang out with on a one on one basis, i don't talk about much that is close to me--

i usually enjoy new year's no matter what happens; it's a mindset. it's the idea that everything happens for a reason, or perhaps for a higher intention; that every experience helps us grow. as such, there aren't "bad" new year's or bad years. growth and experience is progress despite all the bad moments that people often focus on.

that theory was well tested this new year's. there is probably a lot to write about what happened, but a few people at pixel's party saw anna-lu and i arguing at the end of the evening, many months after we have broken up, mostly because she was hangry (hungry + angry) and with advancing drinking i responded to her cascade of advances.

the argument highlights what i think will be my new year's resolution to be much less of a sucker. to respond more to my needs and less to other people's. to make tough + uncomfortable decisions and stick to them. despite appearances by garth and affordable justice and toby and arroz and starla and et cetera, and despite gully and j-fies and debbie and kurt, and despite the best christmas gift ever, one half of a deez nuts shirt from eben, despite seeing silver making out with lisa and later finding out that he remembers nothing... that whole situation was bullshit.

perhaps it's the staying up all night, and the fact that since new year's i haven't been able to put together more than five hours of sleep. but since the end of new year's eve, i have not been able to be energetic about the new year, about people, about the prospect of meeting new people and/ or dating.

i will spend some time swimming and writing this week, and maybe coming up with ideas about what i will do when i am done with school in five months. perhaps by saturday i will be of a mood to watch the jets flail in their playoff game against san diego, making cross-country cellular calls to morgan and hj about their supercharger team; and check out the imo's pizza night dan d says he is having. we will see.


enough of that. on new year's i started with diner dinner with gurnifer and rini, with two tiaras and a top hat bought outside at broadway and 86th street. the ladies were feeling a little ill and i, still recovering from the previous night, was also not in top shape. but we made do, talked about manipulative and selfish people we dated (see above for me), and then sent rini home to sleep.

i went south to two parties: pixel's was the second. elana's was the first; where i finally got to meet the incomparable jaime. it was further proof that we are not the same person, not only because that whole me turning into a white jewish woman from jersey is hard to do on a regular basis but because now we have photos. jaime is goofy and sweet and a new favorite.

rachel, you're nice too.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

chase the devil when he misbehaves. 12.31.04

this is the pre-new year's post that i wrote yesterday. the new year's recap will come after i eat and go meet gully and crew.

the year is about to turn and as such dave from paradise hotel hosts his new year's eve eve party. a chance to countdown to the good times of new year's eve and get one's drinking started early (so it won't hurt so much on new year's eve). the tradition was continued last night at the park slope apartment, with many of the hs guys (c-lo, steve e, sambuka, ashok, danny m, kev, dave rhee passed out on the coats) and girls, (gracious and zo-co) and friends who i had met before and invariable forget the names of, but not the faces... of (that is no way to end a sentence).

i brought matt c from school, a fine even-tempered fellow you will likely all meet. i arrived on a mission and even though the drinks were outside, i drank them them with abandon. even when i couldn't find anything to mix with the whiskey. that was a lot of whiskey.

gully arrived off of his train to grab a drink and then left to meet jess and debbie at the park slope place they are renting for the weekend.

i took advantage of the mistletoe, talked of plans to go trail biking with noah, made new friends, phuong and shana, watched danny m to the worm as kev karaoke'd to eminem's "without me," rocked out to karaoke versions of "pour some sugar on me" and "born to be my baby," and left late and drunk.

problem: i live far away. i didn't get back in contact with gully's posse and so i took the train. i got that half-lidded, incomprehensible look on the f train in queens. and missed my stop, from which i would have walked to the LIRR.

i woke at 169th. let off an expletive. got off at the last stop (179th). didn't understand my surroundings enough to race for the train going the other way. let off louder expletives. asked the woman spraying the platform when the next train was leaving-- 20-25 minutes.

i took my problems street side. it was empty, 3 AM, one straggler by a phone booth in the residential neighborhood. still drunk. no idea when my train was supposed to come, but thinking i had about 20 minutes to make 30 blocks, in shoes that are comfortable but not conducive to distance running.

started walking. found a bus to take me 8 blocks. jogged. saw the spot where i'd been mugged 15 years ago. jogged some more. cursed. thought about just giving up and looking for a gypsy cab-- they are expensive and i don't trust rolling with some dude in his unaffiliated with a car service plymouth acclaim-- but i had to know if i had missed my train or not.

but when i got there, i was early. caught my train. made it home. drooled in front of my email. my little brother came home. at 5 am. i was drunk and not-conversational, unable to eat.

the upshot of all of this is that i was trying to sleep in, rest up for tonight. trying to think about eating eggs and drinking water. trying to keep my grumbling stomach chill so i could enjoy my block of sleep. and just when i nodded off for real...

i had an undergraduate moment. i went to the bathroom and i reversed the curse. i enjoyed the bulimic's diet. i prayed to the porcelain god and i must tell you, it's as unpleasant as ever.

my day is a winner; i don't have applesauce nor ginger ale, as anna-lu suggests, but i am going to start with ginger tea and an apple, and i will be ready for tonight, to see rini and gurney and gully and all the rest, on pixel's isle.