It Rains In Paradise?! 06.26.03

Tonight I watched Paradise Hotel for the first time. Not simple because I am a reality television junkie. In fact, I have not been able to bring myself to watch any of this crap recently, preferring to stick to sport and movies and rediscovering this “written word” thing teachers always talked about.

But. A couple of days ago, my old friend J-Cap dropped some knowledge on me—our old classmate, Dave K, was on the show, I guess picked from a studio audience, to replace someone who got voted off. Or some crap—again, I haven’t been watching this crap.

Until now. We’re excited about this prospect because this isn’t just any goon from our high school—the school was fairly small, and Dave K was actually a friend of mine. He held the Sunset Park party where a couple of kids straight strode in there like they knew us and jacked some beer; later followed by the cops who were looking for two kids who’d done some illegal shadiness.

And Dave K was the man who, during the 1997-98 New Year’s (I think) got so tore that he had to go to the hospital but apparently walked out the next morning in scrubs and took the subway home.

Good guy, always been funny.

But not like this!

Yo, he cold steps into the show, filled with – let me backtrack. This is a reality TV show. So all the people are young, white, early to mid 20’s, white, and kind of toolish, the kids that who grew up in your suburb and spike and gloss their hair, rock tattoos, get into fistfights. Not the deepest end of the pool. Meanwhile, Dave K has lost some weight and is kinda dorky looking on television, all ears and nose. Obviously a smart guy, still a quick talker. As comfortable with himself as so many of our eye candy television populace seems to not be. He is so very not reality TV.

J-Cap pointed out that there are chat boards ripping him as a dork and ugly and I am proud of him for getting up and not playing the happy to be there doofus from the crowd. Instead, he is funny on a complete other level, maybe beyond what these kids can handle. It might actually be an interesting moment of reality TV again.

What happens when the vain bodybuilders that make up our guilty pleasure television are confronted by someone who does not cower before their beauty? Someone who seems to think having fun is by being funny? Someone who doesn’t take this whole “search for love on television” thing so seriously that he can’t ask these obvious exhibitionists about their sex lives? Rude? Guys, you put yourselves on television. As if, since you spiked your hair, added sheen, and live to work out, the rest of the world should drop to its knees?

My favorite was when he turns to the group and says, facetiously, “it RAINS in paradise?”

And on the chat boards, where respondents regularly use the words “dork” and “fag” and “loser,” we have this bit of decent from “Trooper 321,”: No he is not [ugly], his personality is interesting in the group but I'm not sure if you even thought about that...Dave is needed in that stupid group of brainless bodybuilders full of hypocrisy (I'm talking about the guys especially)...these guys are kids, that's what Charla said also...They are all so concerned about their looks it's ridiculous. Dave is just himself and that's to be appreciated in a program like this. He is real and makes the program fun to watch, the perfect contra-guy.