Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Place 6.14.05

after last wednesday i spent a few days trying to clean up my cough, get my voice back. friday was an important day, after all-- diana was holding a fundraiser for our camp kids, and i figured it's always good to have a person on hand who has been with the camp for a few years, in case people ask about it.

there was gargling and throat drops and sleep-inducing pills and hot nights wondering if i would ever be the same. but in this time, i thought back to the diplo show and something the rice-a-homie said which always rings true for the two of us. we're often in places where we feel uncomfortable, places where we can't get into the flow. spots that are too indie rock or too serious or too tooly. and this was a week of slipping in between the fences, re-finding where the pico fits. here's the tale.

friday comes around and i still rasp my words, clear my throat-- but i can be understood. in fact, i sounded kind of badass, a little method man- sounding. if gully wasn't right about the voice being "so over" then i could have given some ladies a late evening aural thrill.

i made it to the fundraiser early - it was held at a bar in upper midtown, and i was the first person on hand. good thing too, because a couple of people came before diana. one of them was a dumpy young lady who will be studying in a former soviet republic on a fulbright scholarship, and she is the crux of this post.

the whole evening i found myself surrounded by women and while that sounds great, it is hard to "pierce the veil" (more philopimpical wisdom from gully) when you are one of three guys. that is fine; i am not in a big "meet the trim" phase right now. more concerned with earning money and the camp and the future and becoming more positive.

the show and tell was good, the event raised money, and i got into many conversations about what people did. they all were high minded, public servants and non-profiteers, busy following their policy hearts into education and into going overseas and helping out poor countries--

and after a while i was like "enough already."

they talked almost like they're showing off. and in a sense they are; proving to me and everyone else that while they are not making money they are doing even better things, exclusive things. it's a conversational velvet rope. and like lana-p's friend-- and even some of our friends on a bad day-- the tendency to talk about the ills of the world serves not only to illuminate their audience but to prove how much they know, how far they have delved into their program area, how serious they are.

differences of style happens all the time. it's okay, it's interesting, it's illuminating. but ever so often, you realize you are not in your place, with people of a similar mindset. i'd rather do public service and not talk about it; i'd rather have more conversations about entertainment or about the person i am talking to, what makes them tick, what makes them happy. then again, their policy area is sometimes what makes a person tick.

perhaps i should be patient with people. but i'd rather be around folks who understand your sense of humor, who tell you about their work not as a flag but as a point of conversation/ interest.



after the fundraiser - i left after talking to margaret from the high school - i saw victor downtown, two sheets to the wind and having a piss of a time with his marvel comics friends. i was easily in step there, people i knew, and music i liked.

saturday i went to the north meadow to lana-p and her birthdaying friend jules. after dropping more coin than i remember on picnic supplies gully and i ended up in central and everyone was hella good people. the only problem was that after playing ultimate frisbee for the first time, i sweat right through a shirt--

and the rains came.

gully and i ran errands downtown- i picked up my camera i had left at the fundraiser thanks to diana. gully got his hair cut and looked for dijah's shoe store.

then to niffer's backyard; her roommate's brother was having a going-away party that was filled with fraternity boys and good eats.

then to some party on prospect with jill c/ ern/ holiday/ lisa/ garth n' elise. good to talk to ern, in town for one night only and then back to alabama.

1 comment:

heathalouise said...

your frustration? that's because self-righteousness is never cool...