because shotguns are so passé 9.20.04

a rough turn on the knob of the toaster over will set my bread to dark; i am busy making a sandwich with as many remaining fixin's in the house before they go bad. this includes the ham and roast beef, tomato, lettuce, an avocado; might work in some peppers and onions too. worcestershire sauce, that’s what’s needed.

i'd like to thank alex for updating the phrase "shotgun wedding" with "glock wedding," or "semi-automatic weapon wedding." now we can get pregnant kids to the altar faster and with less haggling!

as a side note, i've had this urge recently to learn how to fire a gun. it's one of the few things a young man misses when he grows up in new york-- even in this almost-hood neighborhood i live in now. everyone on law and order has a gun, even socialites! and all my favorite rappers drop lines about gunplay. i just want to fit in.

i am serious about this. i am going to learn how to shoot. next year.

shit! jehovah’s witnesses at the door! i think they heard my plate…