And When I’m Done With Your Wife I Go Straight to Church 09.05.03

I discovered a great many things today. Walking is a direct cause of sweat. With some prodding, one-hour photo can become 2-ish hour photo, which is an improvement. Linen should be dried carefully and not with the rest of one’s rags.

Also, while walking past the worst pick-up games I have ever seen (son, don’t try a crossover dribble if you can’t do a basic dribble), and wondering what these blame-fool kids were doing, still on the street with their scooters and their giggles, I realized I had been hearing non-stop Eminem.

Still. Didn’t 8 Mile come out last year or something? Still cars are yelling at me to lose myself in the moment. And filling kids’ heads with hope. That g*ddamned Eminem! It is very difficult to pry the youth from MTV dreams of musical success, childish excess, and flashy flagrance as it is. And this cat is spouting this “hard work will bring you success” line which is great and edifying in the real world but not in the completely flipside planet called the music business. That planet’s next to Mxyzptlk’s planet, Kltpzyxm.

In a sense, I am wrong. Reaching is beautiful. Safety nets are good too, kids. Get them in the next aisle.

Then I think of 50 Cent—or Fitty Fat as we like to call him when he comes out of his cave for Easter dinner. He, at least, has the courtesy to go to tried and true standbys. After all he has been doing this for a long time. Did you hear the verse on Kobe Bryant’s album? Do you know Kobe Bryant dropped an album in 2000? Or that Chris Webber did the same? Or that Jason Kidd was one of B-Ball’s Best Kept Secrets?

Just checking.