it's true of all of us. 10.29.04

i was very upset with myself, my laziness, my lack of energy, my failure to get much done (besides commune with kiri the red-a-homie and her baseball-loving roommate katie) when i came home. i was listening to mixes i had made and even getting upset over those. this song could have gone there. that was the wrong minus the bear song to use for so and so person.

i could have kicked me. but i flip on the television and note that there's the daily show (bad for the spirits in this political season-- too much pandering and shadiness on both sides); and there is an HBO special documenting a photobook of porn stars, clothed and as if by magic, unclothed in similar positions. it's a cross-section of young and old, mainstream stars and male-male stars, superstars, implants and natural. and it was interesting, interspersed with commentary from a guy from the village voice, one from page six of the ny post, and john waters.

all of this was to talk about how porn has become normalized but is still on the edge of things-- these people are shut out of mainstream movies but the women use porn to travel as featured performers. best line, from john waters: porn beautiful is below new york beautiful and then below LA beautiful.

how i rationalize porn and christianity? not quite sure yet, and that's a complete other blog. but there's a thought process-- if i am not coveting, if i don't watch so much that it affects the rest of my life (like marge does) and what i watch doesn't change my actions or moral fiber, then what's wrong with it?

but even better-- army of darkness on the sci-fi channel. watching a man fight himself on a cheap blue screen and other cheap effects... always good for the mood.