Thursday, May 19, 2005

where's summer? is she smoking the salmon herself? 5.19.05

i love how a funeral brings a family together. and brings tate donovan back, looking svelte and sharp. i like him better in non-black suits but... what's with that shit eating grin? and sister haley is back. i like the way she takes off her overshirt. nice stretch. ladies, learn that method. so far, this is crappy. seth and summer all holding hands. talking sensitive. where is the effing drama? on 90210, they wrote off that blonde kid with a gunshot and a scenes from the next episode. i'm a heartless bastard. sandy cohen, though, gets in a dig or two: a terrible father in law; and if you can't rest in peace, i am sure heaven could use a few more mcmansions.

the kirsten drink count! we have a new drinking game! we're on 2 already... full bottle, a wobble, and argument, and a smash!

we begin with a treatment center, before the funeral; sandy is sensitive and wants to "keep it brief." i bet an intervention is coming. they were great on HBO's lifestories. and seth discovers the brochure for the treatment center! you know, kiki don't look like no drunk. knowing she's a raw-food-ist, i wonder what they make her drink instead of liquor. does a raw foods diet preclude liquor? isn't vodka processed potato? ahh, it can be made from processed grain, or grapes.

and now... the intervention. kiki strikes back. is it me or does seth just not seem like kiki's son at all? they're not very mother/ daughter- i mean son.

it's 8.45 and kiki's going to rehab? waaaaaaay too early. she's gonna run away. and next season say "seth can do it, why can't i?" but for now, she's contrite.


gamma rays of hate shooting out of your eyeballs? 1 girl, 2 brothers, it's all a little legends of the fall. -summer

and yet another revenge of the sith video game product shot! and another bravery song, honest mistake. i hear this song... uh, too much. the kids go to the bait shop in search of relief from the tensions of life; little do they know they are about top face the harsh reality of asian gangsters and gunfire. that place is So going to have metal detectors next season.

oh... drama. trey and bimbo are... snxxxxx.... gun.... snxxx.... cocaine.... snxxxx.

seth - we just came from my grandfather's funeral.
trampy blonde - well. he's probably pretty old.

"who's the bitch now, huh?" trampy blonde says. isn't that the catch phrase from "the new guy" starring dj qualls and jermaine dupri? but- yo, trampy newport girl done buss off a shot! or would y'all prefer "lick off a shot?" maybe "squeeze some reounds?" or "buck one?"

the trampy girl is jess. ryan's heard it all before from his brother. but did y'all know trey's really british? like mischa? and ryan lays down the "you gotta go" law. don't we all want to see ryan go off the stanford or berkeley and become a sensitive poet, rehashing james dean and writing furiously under the influence of coffee, a couple of skinny suburban girls working on their theater lines and talking about moving to new york? maybe he just needs to go to NYU. but then he'll become a criminal. or this criminal. or this criminal. or maybe trey should go to nyu with trashy. and while there he can adopt a british accent-- which the actor, Logan Marshall Green, actually has in real life. okay, NYU kids, respond away.

oh, no! rissa has a boo-boo! she was near gunfire! and summer is the good times, take care of people kid we all love. she's a care bear with care bear countdown powers! she's good mood bear! therapy bear? exposition of character emotion bear?


tate/ jimmy cooper wants to stay in newport? with julie coop? marisa comes home to find her parents... together! but isn't it creepy to take over caleb's house? is marisa happy or... conflicted? and the mystery other child is coming home?


the way things have been going i bet that's oliver. -seth

hey, how come ryan's so effing pale? ryan resolves to settle it with trey once and for all... trampy wants to go to vegas with trey? steal her stepdad's beamer? what a naughty naughty girl!

ryan - what are you gonna do, shoot me? is that how this ends?
trey - how this ends is up to you, says trey.

ryan walks away, seemingly afraid of the gun in trey's hand. trey puts down the piece and ryan tackles him low. excellent technique. ryan has a future in football. there is a beating, the table breaks- and marisa shoots him? in the back? don't worry, trey is alive. she hit the other side of the chest, away from the heart. man, the oc is hard. dudes get shot in the back by cosmogirl. whatever that song was, the one playing in the heartfelt moments, it has to go.

was that repetitive and annoying tune a ryan adams song?

and we have to get "what are you gonna do, shoot me?" out of the american phrase book.


neverecho said...

confusing. but thanks.
p.s. i like the russian futurists. a lot.

Erica said...

he could still die from blood loss or something, couldn't he? i just want him dead and away.

Pico said...

if he comes back, i bet he won't be long.

Chus said...

Here's the entire movie!: The New Guy (entire movie)