I Watched the Grammys Because... 2.24.03

1. I really care what Debbie Harry's menopausal ass is wearing, it gives me wood.
2. Norah Jones inspired me to drive across the country to see my ex-lover. Who then rejected me. With a 2 x 4.
3. Sheryl Crow speaks for disaffected urban youth. Especially next to Kid Rock.
4. I wanted to see if 50 Cent and Eminem would rob the whole industry of their jewlz.
5. Ohmigod-- Avril Levigne and Pink in the same room?! I could just die! Or piss myself! I just did!
6. Nelly Nelly Nelly, can't you see, sometimes I'm mesmerized by mediocrity.
7. To find out who John Mayer, Nickelback, Eric Tingstad, and Bowling for Soup are. And still not care.
8. Wasn't there supposed to be a Clash reunion? Or was that a Gin Blossoms reunion?
9. Seeing other people rewarded for their hard work makes me work harder. Also, man, I was too high to stand up and change the channel.
10. The devil made me do it; I heard him through the Springsteen album, played backwards.