hm. i think it always makes me think when people know me as frustrated and ranting. not so much you but i just emailed ****** and it's funny how i am suddenly thinking of all the things i said to her, all the arguments we had over email after i'd left.

and how i am still thinking that i hate the fact that i put myself in a position where i was asking for her attention and such, and revealing my frustration, and thereby making myself a little wimpier, a little more of a loser, in our two-person power play of stubborn people.

and of course i have to ask why that is, why i would look at us, just two people living, like that. it's kind of disturbing and a bad harbinger of the future. or maybe it's just a thing and i should not read too much into it.

or maybe i am not reading enough into it...

this is me. signing off. and borrowing some of the above email for my diaryland piece... later--