Friday, January 30, 2004

From the EUR: 1.30.04

Rapper extraordinaire lands role.

*Mos Def is balancing his rap career
with a successful acting career that has
put him on Broadway as well as the
big screen.
Now, Def has been chosen to star
as "Ford Prefect" in Spyglass Entertainment's
"The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy."
The film will be directed by Garth
Jennings and Nick Goldsmith,
and will start filming in April.
"The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"
is based upon the acclaimed novel by
Douglas Adams, which depicts a British
man who is perplexed when he's saved
from the destruction of Earth by his
best friend, who turns out to be an alien.

'Turk' arrested in Memphis

*Some rappers really do live the thug life.
Such is the case of Tab Virgil Jr., a 22-year-old
rapper who performs with the Hot Boyz rap crew
under the name "Turk."
The New Orleans rapper has been charged
in Memphis with attempted first-degree murder
in the shooting that wounded two Shelby County
deputies serving a search warrant earlier this week.
Sheriff’s officials said that Tab Jr. of Metarie,
La., is being held on a $1 million bond in the
Shelby County Jail.
SWAT deputy Jason Pagenkopf, 31, a 10-year
veteran with more than four years on the sheriff’s
special weapons team, was shot in the neck
while serving the search warrant at the
Hickory Pointe apartments.
SWAT deputy Chris Harris, 29, a six-year
veteran was struck in the mouth, hip and leg.
The suspect is also wanted in Louisiana for
violation of probation, officials said.
The two wounded deputies were part of a team
of 12 officers who went to the apartment to search
for heroin. They did not find any of that illegal drug,
but did find a small amount of marijuana and
drug paraphernalia, sheriff’s officials said.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Take A Whiff 1.28.04

This is the kind of letter that keeps me reading Savage Love. Misanthrope Anna, I blame your dirty influence.

[--explicit content beneath--]

You and your readers have been talking about poo-eating for a long time now. I would like to offer up an alternative that I think is kind of neat. Take a standard condom, fill it with peanut butter, twist the bottom, and insert into your ass (making sure to not let go). When the moment is right, untwist the bottom, release, bear down, and POO! Well, OK, not quite, but it certainly provides an alternative that might satisfy both the poo eater and also his bacterially minded sex partner. Let me know what you think. —I Can't Believe It's Not Poo

Try not laughing.
Cookie Crisp 1.28.04

Ben Cohen of Ben and Jerry's wants you to consider new ways of distributing our federal income, and describes it with cookies. Pass on to your war-loving friends, makes a good point about those poor sand people we keep blowing up.
Puritanical 1.28.04

Last night I asked Silver this question:

After the first horrenous winter, knowing that it doesn't snow like this in England, and it's not this kind of miserable, why didn't the Puritans who landed in the Plymouth Rock area just pack up and go south?

Silver replied with a couple of good points:

1. then they would have been the people who went to Jamestown.
2. because.
3. they saw every challenge as a challenge from God-- in other words, it was time for the Puritans to step up and bring it like it never been brought'ed.

I also added that it probably would have cost a lot to repair their ships and depart, or go over land.

Think about this concept. What is they never landed there? What if Boston never bacame the early center for revolutionary-era population/ commerce/ dissention/ philosophy? What if the fledgeling colonies were centered around Norfolk, Virginia?

Then again, maybe slavery wouldn't have been abolished, or perhaps American colonists wouldn't have been so ornery. Maybe we'd talk about the new north now, relish the snow, play sports in skimpier uniforms, not have candlepin bowling, and maybe the red sox and the patriots wouldn't have that wacky inferiority complex. Come on, come up with more "what if the nation started out more south-centered" ideas yourself.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Thanks for the Memories, Captain Kangaroo. 1.23.04

I was never much of a Sesame Street fan; in fact, I really didn't watch that much television until I got to sitcoms (more episodes of Who's the Boss than is considered healthy) and primetime dramas (Remington Steele? The A-Team?) and the news. I really loved Captain Kangaroo. Like wake up on my own at 7 AM love. I'd talk about the Little Prince cartoon that I believe preceded Kangaroo (and the dreck that came afterwards, as I realized I gave up sleep and had nothing to do) but you'd look at me with a stink eye, and I want to give you the link to Captain Kangaroo's obit.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Season 1.22.04

This is the time of year that all the NYU kids actually go to class, instead of being hung over and high and dyeing their hair or being standoffish and "cool." And while it is great to see so much young pulchritude (and MST Karaoke, they're still cute at that age), the yammering and the standing in my way and the dawdling on cellulars I can do without.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

John Kerry? 1.20.04

Is neither electable nor inspiring. I thought we hated Clintonesque wafflers.

Monday, January 19, 2004

My Heart Is With Bush... 1.19.04

As people around the city commit themselves to a day of service in honor of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Iowans are getting ready to raise a joyful sound for their favorite democratic candidate. Besides the inherent silliness of the caucus and the polling around it, besides the questionable representation we get from the state of Iowa, I'd like to point out that while scanning the newspapers I noted that someone wrote that this is the closest, most unpredictable caucus since 1988.

Damned Republican newspapers! That's not a banner year at all. Remember Willie Horton? And Dukakis in the tank? And Gary Hart denying his affair? "My heart is with Bush but my bush is with Hart," as the joke went. Taking Gary Hart's electability with it.

Friday, January 16, 2004

The Ice Of Boston 1.16.04

I never knew that all of my blogging options do not come up on Macs. I am in Boston with Freak-Out Anna, it's cold, it's sunny, and it's early, kids. Something more intelligent to say? Well...someday, when the weather gets warmer, we will all bask in the joy of-- wait, that's not very intelligent at all. You get intelligence later. Maybe after I see L'il Gabs, a/k/a MC Gab-B.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Goddamn Try Something New Liberals!!! 1.13.04

I wonder why the NY Post’s opinion section is so damned angry all the time. I am looking specifically at an opinion piece from yesterday’s paper on Joel Stern, the chancellor of schools and his anti-preference for the use of phonics (Stern wants a more progressive approach to reading, less drilling and rote repetition).

I bring this up not because I have an opinion on teaching methods or the No Child Left Behind Act; not because, quietly hidden on the next page is a one column, third of a page “article” about how Hilary Clinton was talking about a proposal added to a spending bill recently passed in the House, that allows some workers to be tabbed as supervisory workers and then disqualified for overtime pay, including policemen and firefighters and nurses; but because these Post characters are so very angry. How about commenting on the merits of another person’s ideas? How about assimilating ideas? How about not polarizing people, ideas, political parties?

That doesn’t make for a good newspaper, I suppose. Just a responsible one.

Monday, January 12, 2004

From Reuters 1.12.04

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. government is moving forward on a computerized system containing background information on air travelers despite resistance from airlines and privacy advocates, The Washington Post reported on Monday.

The government will require airlines and air travel booking companies to let officials see passenger records, the newspaper said. Passengers through U.S. airports would be scored with a number and a color that ranks their perceived threat to the aircraft they are traveling on, the paper said.

A separate program is due to be launched this year that would give frequent fliers quicker passage through security checks if they volunteer personal information to the government, the newspaper said.

Privacy and consumer advocates say the programs could be discriminatory because some passengers would be screened more carefully than others.

The two programs would supplement the fingerprinting and photographing of travelers arriving in the United States that was launched last week.
Biscuits and Gravy 1.12.04

Y'all are mad jealous. I missed New Top on saturday, it's true. But I made it to Eben's on Sunday for football. Mostly because Nascar Anna promised to make biscuits and gravy.

And that was the most deliciously fattening breakfast of the year. Thanks to Nascar Anna and Nascar Amanda (whose concern about Joe Gibbs only goes as far as how well his Nascar team will do without him) and Eben and the wonders of grease and coffee and eggs. We almost bad-lucked Eben's Eagles into a loss... maybe I should have stayed until the end.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

On Bush's Immigration Plan 1.08.04

Here is a note from NahWeYone on the Immigration plan:

Immigration Q&A

Allan Wernick, an immigration lawyer whose column appears Thursdays in the Daily News, offers some answers to questions raised by President Bush's immigration initiative:

Q. Is Bush proposing an amnesty for all undocumented immigrants?

A. No. The Bush plan provides only temporary status for immigrant workers, with no path to permanent residence or U.S. citizenship. To get permanent residence, temporary workers will need to qualify under one of the existing methods - family relations, the green-card lottery or the
difficult employer-based sponsorship program.

Q. Who will qualify under the Bush plan?

A. To get temporary worker status, you must be sponsored by an employer. Temporary status will likely be available initially for three years with possible extensions. Temporary workers must pay taxes and contribute to Social Security accounts. And they will qualify for Social Security retirement benefits.

Q. Once I get temporary status, will I be able to change jobs? What happens if I get fired?

A. You'll probably be able to change jobs, but you'll need to be sponsored by the new employer. A similar proposal pending in Congress allows a temporary worker to be here no more than 45 days without working.

Q. If I'm here unlawfully, can I qualify?

A. Yes. Having entered unlawfully won't make you ineligible.

Q. Under the Bush plan, will my spouse and children be able to be with me in the U.S.?

A. Yes. But to work, they'll likely need to qualify for the permit separately.

Q. If I get temporary work permission, will I be able to travel out of the U.S.?

A. Yes.

Q. Will the Bush plan help at all in my efforts to get permanent residence?

A. Perhaps. Advocates are hoping that undocumented immigrants granted the new status will be freed from the current bars to permanent residence for those who are here unlawfully. Also, Bush supports an increase in the number of visas available each year. That could help clear up the long backlogs in some visa categories.

Q. Will the bars for criminal activity still apply?

A. Count on it.
What To Nickname the New Year? 1.08.04

I'm partial to the Deuce Dub Quad myself. The Boondocks weighs in.
Though They Spelled Lexington Steele's Name Wrong... 1.08.04

From the EUR:

Rapper bears all for hip-hop porno mag.

*Ladies look out! Method Man is bearing it all … in an interview in a new Hip-Hop porn magazine. Method graces the cover of the premiere issue of "Fish 'N' Grits." The magazine describes itself as "where music meets porn." says the magazine features black and Latino porn stars alongside rappers graphically discussing their fetishes and most unusual sexual experiences. In the premier issue, adult porn star "Solveig" questions Method Man on fetishes and oral sex among other sexual practices. Inside, Kanye West, Lil Jon and The Eastsideboyz, The Clipse, Bone Crusher, Too Short and the FUBU founders all share their own naughty tales.

Method is running hot right now with an upcoming Fox sitcom and a role alongside Eddie Griffin and Anthony Anderson in "My Baby Daddy." The publishers for "Fish 'N' Grits" are Sharif Profit, Camille Burgos and Joe Fatal. "Fish 'N' Grits" has a current circulation of 100,000 units in 5 cities including New York, LA and Atlanta. Upcoming issues will feature Redman, Treach, Snoop Dogg, porn star India, Mystikal, OutKast and Lil' Kim with Lexington Steal.

The Fish 'N' Grits' with Method Man issue is on newsstands now.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Let Me At Them Republicans! 1.07.04

I don't have a whole lot yet to say this morning, and I have some business to take care of. It's bone ass cold and I have to take a walk outside? Bullhockey.

While I am gone, read this nytimes article on John Edwards, presidential candidate. I like what this man is saying about the two Americas, about the class difference that is often shoved under the political carpet... but he was a personal injury lawyer? An ambulance chaser? I don't know about that....

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Luck 1.06.04

Thanks to Selvadurai for sending me this on the science of luck, from the BBC.

They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.• Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right• Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine• Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well• Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy

Monday, January 05, 2004

Southerners Suffer Too 1.05.04

Somewhere in Iowa, our Democratic hopefuls are scribbling notes and meeting with their campaign folks, thinking about how best to lay the smack down on the other 6-8 folks who also think they can beat Bush. Kind of like Will Smith thought he could beat Mike Tyson.

Hearing the Democrats argue and bicker and “attack Howard Dean” is depressing. All of this talk from Kerry, from Dean, from Lieberman (he’s still running?) shows flashes of men who simply want to win, not present their ideas in the hope that the best ideas will win. Silly us. The ideas don’t win; campaigns do. We know that after 2000, because the National Shrub didn’t weigh Americans down with too many ideas. Though he didn’t win, he came close enough to take office.

As the Democrats pick at Howard Dean, as is a politician’s style, they also talk about their viability as a candidate. “My military service” appeals to the Southerners, Kerry says. “Southerners are suffering too,” says Dean. The Democrats are reaching for votes of people who don’t understand them, talking about them as if they were from another country, not part of our nation. That is not a good sign.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

i'll tell you this much
new year's was very very cool
but i have lost the words
in my teeth
i've bought a toothpick
i'll get them back